100+ Extremely Funny Birthday Wishes

I thought you get finer and wiser with age? Well, there’s always next year.

You suck at aging! Can you at least try to look older?

Just wanted to be the first one to wish you happy birthday so I can feel superior to your other well-wishers. So, happy birthday!

Congratulations for being born many years ago…

Don’t worry about lighting all the candles on your cake—I’ve already let the fire department know!

Happy Birthday, My Friend! There’s no such thing as laughing too loud, drinking too much, or dancing too hard. Life is a treat-enjoy it!

Honesty is the best policy as you get older. Be honest to everyone you meet, since it will be harder to remember your white lies when your memory goes. Happy birthday!

Wait, you are how old? Oh jeez, that’s almost dead in doggy years. I’m so glad we met when we were kids. Happy birthday, bestie.

Have you checked the number of a candle on your birthday cake? You have to blow the entire candle by sniffing. Ha ha ha. Happy Birthday, Candle King!

If God created you for a special purpose, that purpose has still not been achieved! Haha… Happy Birthday!

Aging is mandatory — adulting is optional. Let go and enjoy your day!

Happy birthday to you today, my friend! You truly are a best friend like no other. I mean, who else would still want to be my friend after knowing all of my crazy quirks! Perhaps you’re the crazy one after all!

May you live to be so old that the mere sight of you horrifies young children and ex-lovers.”

It’s not that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but it’s your best friends who are your diamonds!

Happy birthday, my great friend. I wish you long life, and I’m sure you love that wish. But, let me warn; the day you start buying anti-aging cream, you may intercept the long-life wish, because aging is the only way to live a long life!

Woohoo! Cake, booze, and partying! Oops… I mean… happy birthday!

When we were younger, old lady stuff like crochet was cute and quirky. Soon it’s just going to be expected of us. Happy Birthday Old one.

You’re officially too old to shop at Forever 21.

Happy Birthday and congratulations on the extra wrinkle on your face! I’m so proud!

Every day you sparkle but today you rule! Happy Birthday Pal.

Happy Birthday to my partner in crime. I look forward to the trouble we’re going to get into in the coming year.

I’ve two news to share; 1- You’ve turned another year older and 2- You’ve nothing to do with it. You’ve just fast forward towards old and wrinkly!

I know you are finding it hard to accept your age, accept it, and move on, you are no longer young. Happy birthday!

Don’t let aging get you down! You won’t get back up again!

There are two types of people in the world; one who gives birthday parties happily and one who goes underground on the birthday. You know very well about which category you belong to. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday, my friend! Just remember, as a general rule of thumb the more gray hair you have the more wisdom you hold!

Happy birthday to a person that is charming, talented and witty, and reminds me a lot of myself.

There’s one thing that can definitely make you live long and enjoy long life, and that is aging. So, don’t be afraid to age, it’s the best prescription for long life! Happy birthday to a wonderful friend.

As long as I have a couch, you’ll have a couch to crash on. No matter what happens. You’ll always have a place if you need it.

For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.

Wishing you a brainy birthday! Ample years and yet another year, you have still not grown wiser.

Happy birthday to my best friend! We are such a great team: I am smart, good-looking and talented and you are great at being my friend!

Happy Birthday, you’re closer to seeing another century pass.

Best friends keep each other’s secrets, which is why I’m not telling anyone how old you’re turning today. Happy Birthday!

Be alert! Birthdays can leak your real age. So, use fewer candles on your cake and spend more money on us. Happy birthday!

Dear friend, what is the point of celebrating your birthday when you are moving one step closer to death? I wish you a happy birthday!

“You were born on this date, so we are going to put fire sticks in baked goods and sing at you while you sit there awkwardly.” Wishing you happy birthday.

If you were a Wonka bar, you would definitely be wrapped in the golden ticket. Happy Birthday, my fabulous friend.

Jeepers. Creepers. You are getting old! I think you’re almost old enough to be accepted into one of those assisted living facilities. I hear those places always have free coffee. Did you want me to pick you up an application–just think of the people watching we could do!

The best gift is the gift of friendship. So, that is what I got you for your birthday! Don’t worry… I got you a real present too.

Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday and assume I said them. Happy birthday!

You know my capability to remember all the historical years with accurate dates during our history classes? Well, your birth date was not of course, so I did not remember. Belated birthday wishes sprinkled with a sorry kept in the dungeon!

Happy Birthday to a person who regularly makes me pee myself with laughter. By the way, that’s going to happen more and more the older we get.

If you put on a slightly low make-up, you can actually save some more money for a birthday party. Happy birthday to our make-up queen!

Hey friend, if I get a chance to choose between you and 100 million dollars I would definitely choose the later one. Why the hell would I choose a broke friend like you? Happy birthday.

Happy birthday, old man!

Gray hairs may be emerging and wrinkles starting to form but try and enjoy your special day all the same!

It is your birthday! Remember that researchers have said that birthdays are good for your health and people who have more birthdays live longer. May you get more birthdays.”

I will go ahead and make your day. Happy Birthday, my good friend. I didn’t even log on to Facebook to be told it was your special day. I hope you make it a great one.

It’s your day! But leave it in the capable hands of your best friends. We’ll treat you right!

Best friends are like farts. Some are quiet. Some are loud. They embarrass you in public. They make you feel good. And they make you laugh.

Two tips for your birthday: 1. Forget the past, you can’t change it. 2. Forget the present, I didn’t get you one!

It is another year to your life. There must be another part of your body that aches now.

You are smiling because it’s your birthday! We are smiling because you are getting older and fatter. Happy birthday dear friend!

Happiest birthday to the most grasping friend of mine. May God gives all your money to me so that I can throw myself a party at least.

I won’t lie a bit — I am at your birthday party just to stuff my stomach with scrumptious dishes. Happy birthday!

You make me feel so young when we’re together. Thanks for being born first.

Friend, is your old age getting to you now? Well if it will make you feel any better just know that it won’t last that long. You can’t be old forever! Get out and enjoy your day. Happy Birthday!

Soooo I forgot, which one of us is supposed to be the bad influence? Doesn’t matter. It’s your birthday. We can both be!

Congratulations on this one more year of survival through your math class. You got this!

Don’t let your age get you down, it won’t be long until you are allowed to start learning to drive. But until then, on your bike!

On your birthday, I pray to god to give you a life long enough to see your teeth and hair falling. Happy birthday!

I hope your birthday turns out to be as awesome as your high school result. LOL, that was terrible. Happy birthday buddy!

May your birthday be amazingly awesome and your hangover be mercifully minor.

You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!

You have officially gotten past the teenage years. It’s time to be mature and stop expecting birthday gifts from people. Happy Birthday!

Seeing as I usually forget everyone’s birthdays, you should consider it a miracle that I’m sending you this message.

Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?

Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better!

Happy birthday, dear. Smile! Because with your increasing age, your teeth might be gone sooner than you think.

Happy Birthday to the boy who was found on the road and picked up by my parents. Wish you all the good things in life, brother!

You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct! Happy Birthday Oldie.

I’m not a fan of overly sweet messages as you know, birthdays are for fun! So let’s ditch the old folks later and get out and about like we used to!

I regret to inform you that your childhood has EXPIRED.Happy Birthday Buddy.

Enjoy your birthday this year to the fullest because who knows, after a few years, you might feel ashamed of your true age. Happy Birthday!

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Remember when we stayed up late running from the law? No? Good. I don’t either. Happy Birthday, oldie!

I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world, naked and screaming!

Two things that are inevitable for any living person are birthdays and taxes.

Don’t grow up… It’s a trap!

You’ve got more than half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome… if you could remember any of it.